


Nothing Left to Lose

by monkeyihihji



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based off of animatic, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek tries his best, Hurt, I really love angst, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Mind Manipulation, One Shot, Sad Derek Hale, Spark Stiles Stilinski, The Nemeton - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29624853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeyihihji/pseuds/monkeyihihji
Summary: Now, Derek panics. He panics because there’s his beautiful boyfriend standing in front of the one thing that’s ruined so many beautiful things. The moon is now blocked out from the cascade of trees overhead, but that’s not a problem because there’s light coming from Stiles’ hands. It’s bright and almost an electric blue hue. His Spark.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	Nothing Left to Lose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [benaya-trash](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=benaya-trash).



> This is based off of a Sterek Animatic by benaya-trash! I saw it on youtube and couldn't get it out of my head! I recommend watching it before reading, it will make more sense, but it can also be read as a stand alone. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIEVXJ5RWgc&t=139s

Of course it all came back to the damn tree trunk. Why? Derek has no fucking clue but he’s ready to burn down the whole entire Preserve and that’s truly saying something considering his history with fire. He hates the Nemeton. He hates how everything seems to end at its roots. Most importantly though, he hates what it did to his human. He thought they were done with the stump after Stiles’ high school career. After his senior year, the thing had seemed to grow quiet. 

Quiet enough that it allowed time for Derek and Stiles to  _ finally _ realize what they meant for each other. The summer after graduation gave way to a blossoming romance between the two that remained strong even after Stiles left for college. Derek visited regularly and Stiles came home on the breaks he got from school, and looking back on it, Derek guesses that’s when everything had started. 

Stiles’ first few visits were filled with such excitement and nostalgia that it fueled the excuses and reasons for him not sleeping well. After that though, it started to become a problem. Stiles claimed that it was just because he was used to sleeping in his dorm now and that his childhood bedroom brought back too many memories and Derek, begrudgingly, accepted the reasons. He didn’t know; how could he have known? Everyone had thought the sway that the Nemeton had over Stiles was broken after they defeated the evil fox, but apparently it wasn’t. 

Any supernatural being in a 100 mile radius could feel the pull of magic as it tried bringing them to the Nemeton; it’s a beacon of misguided power. Derek has grown used to the pull, possibly being near it all of his life, and he resists it easily. As do the rest of the McCall Pack. Everyone but Stiles. He has magic, everyone knows this. Deaton once called Stiles a “Spark” with little to none explanation of what that meant. All the vet had said was that Stiles had magic and, with the proper training, could possibly become more than a human. Deaton offered training and Stiles had refused. Later, cuddled in bed, Stiles had admitted that he didn’t like the idea of being anything other than human; he was happy how he was. 

It’s never said out loud, but the Pack knows that the spark inside of Stiles is the reason he was possessed. Derek, at the time, had briefly wondered if that meant his human felt the tug towards the Nemeton since he was now something slightly more than human, but Stiles had finished high school with barely a glance to the trees of the Preserve so Derek never asked. He should have. Now, Derek wonders just how Stiles managed to fight the pull of magic for so long. 

It started to become obvious after Stiles came home for the summer, and just like all the visits before, it was filled with excitement to the point that it was the culprit of many sleepless nights. Except this time, there was no reason for Stiles to go back to school, so he began to sleep less and less. Derek should’ve worried more than he did, but he figured that the young adult was still getting  _ some _ sleep--albeit the sleep was filled with constant turning--than when he went through his finals. 

Looking back at it, they were all signs and Derek ignored every single one. Sure, Stiles zoned out sometimes, but Derek didn’t think much of it; his boyfriend was always a little scatterbrained. Stiles glanced more and more towards the Preserve, but, hey, so did Derek. The trees in the sunrise or sunset are beautiful. Derek more than once found Stiles sitting on his bed staring out the window on the nights he stayed over, but when asked about it, Stiles just said he “couldn’t sleep” with a smile. Derek would smile back and that was that. 

Until he wakes up one night to Stiles gone. He’s not in the bathroom. He’s not in the kitchen. He’s not in the loft and he’s pretty sure Stiles stayed the night. Derek doesn’t panic yet. He smells the air and he smells Stiles’ fresh scent trailing towards the door and it’s slightly off. Not like he’s struggling again--Derek’s stomach flips at the memory of being on top of the hospital--but it smells more like electricity. Like the specific slight burning smell of a light bulb before it flickers out. 

Derek doesn’t panic. He takes barely enough time to put on proper clothes and shoes before he follows the scent out the door and down the stairs and he notices the jeep is gone. He runs, now chasing the scent of burning oil of the old jeep. The moon shines above him, thankfully not full, and it’s light illuminates the ground below. He runs for a few miles before he sees the jeep parked in front of the sign for… fuck. Beacon Hills Preserve. 

Derek doesn’t panic. He can’t panic. If he panics then it could possibly panic Stiles. Panicked Stiles is not fun. All the warning symptoms start aligning themselves in his head and Derek runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He should’ve noticed before, he should’ve said something. He reaches into his back pocket for his phone; he needs to tell Scott, but there’s one slight problem. He doesn’t have his phone on him. He double checks all his pockets again and then he remembers the last place he saw it was on the bed stand table. 

Derek doesn’t panic. He doesn’t have time to panic and he rushes into the trees searching for Stiles. The human’s scent twists and turns through the trees, making no obvious path in doing so. There’s no chemosignals of fear either, it’s almost like Stiles just up and decided to go for a midnight stroll… in the woods… without waking up Derek. 

It feels like he’s running in circles for hours. Stiles’ scent seems to lead nowhere and everywhere all at once and Derek knows it’s because of the Nemeton. He feels it in his bones. The last time Stiles went missing in these woods was because of the same reason. He stops to catch his breath and he closes his eyes. The Nemeton doesn’t want to be found, it’s a tricky little shit like that. So how do you find something that doesn’t want to be found? 

_ Stiles would know _ , a small voice echoes in Derek’s mind. And it’s true, Stiles would know.  _ How would Stiles find it? _

Derek straightens his back and takes a step forward with his eyes still closed. There’s a pull in his chest that his wolf wants to chase. The same impulsive pull that he’s had his whole life, but now he chooses to follow it rather than ignore it. He keeps his eyes closed as he keeps walking, his senses alerting him before he runs into a tree. It feels like he’s only taken about twenty steps before something washes over him, giving him goosebumps. He opens his eyes and in front of him in the Nemeton… and Stiles. 

Now, Derek panics. He panics because there’s his beautiful boyfriend standing in front of the one thing that’s ruined so many beautiful things. The moon is now blocked out from the cascade of trees overhead, but that’s not a problem because there’s light coming from Stiles’ hands. It’s bright and almost an electric blue hue.  _ His Spark _ . 

Derek’s breath catches in his chest and he automatically reaches for him, “Stiles.” There’s no reaction from the human. “What are you doing?” 

He grabs on to his boyfriend’s arm, causing the red jacket he’s wearing to move slightly, revealing a familiar permanent lightning shaped mark glowing along Stiles’ neck and back. It’s the same bluish color as Stiles’ hands. “Stop.” 

This causes a reaction and Stiles half turns and looks at where Derek’s hand is grabbing his arm. His eyes slowly trail upwards and suddenly he’s glaring at Derek. And it’s wrong. So fucking wrong. Stiles’ eyes are void of any emotion. There’s recognition reflected in his eyes, but none of the usual fondness and mirth Stiles usually has when he looks at Derek. Instead, there’s just a hard look that causes the light brown eyes to look nearly black in the current lighting. It makes Derek want to whine and back away. 

Stiles jerks his arm away with barely more than a blink and he looks back towards the Nemeton. Derek feels frozen to his spot as he now notices wisps of the same slightly blue color now coming from the thing. The wisps only seem to get stronger as Stiles reaches out his hand toward the stump. 

“I don’t know what’s going through your head, Stiles.” Derek calls, not for sure what else to say. “But you can fight it. Fight that pull. It’s wrong even though it feels right.” He knows because he can feel it too. There’s power radiating from the Nemeton and the pull is stronger than ever. He’s not for sure what the stump wants, but he still refuses it. 

“It feels good though.” Stiles’ voice is small and shaky but the boy still doesn’t move his hand or turn around. 

Derek’s heart clenches. Stiles still sounds in control and he doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. “”But what happens when it doesn’t?” Because everything the Nemeton touches turns dark in some way. 

Stiles lowers his hand at this and Derek takes his chance and grabs it again. He pulls the human away from the Nemeton and twists the boy so he’s facing him. Derek’s right hand remains firmly clasped around Stiles’ wrist as his left hand grabs onto Stiles’ other arm. The blue light fades from the human’s hands and Stiles looks at him again with tears in his soft brown eyes. 

“Derek.” He whispers and he looks at Derek like he can’t believe he’s here. 

Derek nods, “I’m right here.” 

“Wh-What are you doing here?” Stiles says panicked. “Why are you here? You shouldn’t--you can’t be here.” His doe eyes are almost bulging out of his head and Derek tightens his grip, hoping that it has a calming effect. 

“Hey,” Derek softens his voice. “Hey, focus on me. Just on me.” 

“You have to go.” 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” But neither man makes any move to leave. 

“No.” Stiles’ eyes darken again. “ _ You _ have to go.”

This makes Derek pause. “What?”

“Go.” Stiles repeats again, louder this time. His voice loses the shaky sound and gets firmer. “Now.” 

Shit. How strong of a sway does the Nemeton have on Stiles? He wonders if it’s stronger for Stiles because of his magic. Derek keeps holding tight, “Stiles,” he says slowly, “I don’t know what it wants bu--” 

“Power.” The blank look is starting to take over Stiles’ features again.

Derek glares towards the Nemeton. “I think it has enough power.”

“But it wants more and I can give it what it wants. I have so much. It’s so much more than a little spark.”

Derek doesn’t like the look on Stiles’ face or how he sounds so calm. It looks like he’s losing himself. “How much does it want?” His voice breaks and tears are starting to form in his eyes. 

Stiles gives a lazy smile like he has nothing left to lose, “All of it.” 

Derek’s blood runs cold and this time, a small whine escapes him. He doesn’t like the finality in Stiles’ tone; it sounds like he’s willing to give absolutely  _ everything _ . He licks his lips, a nervous habit he picked up from Stiles, and tries to convince him again. “Stiles, I need you to focus on me, okay? Can you do that?” Stiles stares at him. “You don’t want this. Whatever you’re feeling isn’t you. You can fight it.” He waits a few seconds and then tugs Stiles a little further away. “And we’re going to get you help, okay? So you don’t lose control an--” 

There’s a flash of bright light that causes Derek to close his eyes. Suddenly, he feels like he’s being blasted by a barrier of mountain ash and it forces him to let go of Stiles to cover his own face. He’s shoved backwards and he stumbles against the force. Trees creak and groan around him and he wills his eyes open to see branches curving down around him and in front of him, blocking him from the Nemeton and Stiles. 

Stiles who is standing in front of the stump and glaring back at Derek with glowing white eyes. Energy crackles around him and the smell of electricity floods Derek’s nose and it’s the unmistakable scent of magic. Stiles’ magic. And he’s right; it’s so much more than just a spark. To be honest, it terrifies Derek and he wants to turn tail and run. He wants to howl for help, but after the display of just what Stiles can do without batting an eyelash, he’s scared of what else could happen. 

“Is that what you think is happening!?” Stiles shouts at him. “That I’m losing control!?” The light coming from the Nemeton shoots upwards, now truly looking like a beacon. 

“You mean to tell me that this is you in complete control!?” Derek shouts back and it’s the wrong thing to say. It’s absolutely the worst thing to say. 

Stiles tilts his head in a slow fashion and it sends down Derek’s spine. The air feels charged and trees lean towards Stiles, almost bowing towards him. Tree roots break through the ground and he steps on them as they inch higher and higher in the air. He keeps his up as he walks around the clearing in this fashion, never once slipping or doubting where the tree roots would be. The message is clear as he steps back down in front of Derek’s gate of tree limbs. 

“Complete control.” He says sternly, keeping his chin up as he keeps eye contact with Derek. 

But he’s not. Derek feels the tears slide down his cheeks as he looks at his boyfriend. At first, Derek thinks they’re tear stains, but on closer inspection, he sees they’re not. Stiles’ veins on his face are glowing, literally glowing, the same bluish hue as the rest of his magic; it casts the illusion that his face is cracked. It looks like his magic is burning him from the inside out.

“Stiles,” Derek tries again, “You don’t want this.” He tries reaching him through the tree branches but Stiles steps away. 

Stiles laughs, turns around, and walks closer to the Nemeton. The light from the broken tree stretches out towards him and an invisible wind plays with Stiles’ hair. He wraps his arms around himself for a second and Derek worries that Stiles might collapse, but the younger man thrusts his arms away from his sides. 

“I want this, Derek! Me. Stiles.” He turns around and clutches his chest, “I chose this.” 

No. No. That can’t be true, but Derek knows it is. He hears Stiles’ heartbeat through his own blood rushing through his ears and there’s no skip, not even a slight jump. Stiles is telling the truth. His heart would have jumped even if he is being controlled. God, he should’ve done something about all those warning signs before. If he had, he wouldn’t be this close to losing Stiles. 

“Why?” Derek’s voice is hoarse when it comes out. He’s trying Stiles’ tactic of stalling because maybe that can help both of them somehow. 

That breaks the tension for a second and it seems to take Stiles by surprise, but it doesn’t last long. “Because it hurts.”

“What hurts?” 

“Everything!” Stiles throws his hands up again. “Breathing. Talking. Smiling. Every fucking thing, Derek. No matter what I do, I’m left with this pain that just sits right here.” He points to his chest. “Ever since the Nogitsune.” 

This is news to Derek. He had always thought that once the fox had been stopped, everything went back to normal seamlessly. Well, Stiles had made it look seamless anyway. “Then let’s find a way to stop it. Together.”

“It won't stop! It never stops!” Stiles flails his arms again and this time, the light from Nemeton shoots forward and swirls around Stiles for a moment before fading. “I thought that moving would help, but when I would come back home, I just felt the  _ need _ to come here. To let it take the pain away.” He breaks off with a sob. “I fought it for  _ so long _ , Derek. But I’m tired and… and it can take it away. It can take it all away.”

“Stiles.”

“Do you remember what it feels like, Derek? All the guilt? It’s like there's all these chains weighing me down. This is a chance to be free of it. If I do this,” Stiles looks back at the Nemeton, “there will be no more of anything. No more pain. No more doubts if I’m doing the right thing.

“There’s better ways to beat this.” Derek insists. 

“I’d be free.” Stiles goes on, his veins glowing even brighter on his face. “If I choose this, I lose those doubts and the chains.” He stands there panting as if finally admitting that helped in some sort of way. “And after that, it’ll all be gone.” He sets his jaw, “I have to try. I have nothing left to lose.” 

_ But you’ll burn in the process _ . Derek takes this as his chance and he starts climbing his way through the trees and towards Stiles. Twigs and branches pull and scratch at his skin but he barely feels it. Stiles. He has to get to Stiles. Everything feels shaky and Derek’s not for sure if it’s an actual earthquake or the adrenaline pumping through his veins. By now, Stiles is facing the Nemeton again and both are shining brighter than ever. 

“You have so much to hold on to.” Derek calls, pulling himself through another gap in the trees. “Your Dad. The Pack.  _ Me _ .” 

“I only want it to be over.”

“Stiles! Listen, please!” Derek nearly falls over as he breaks away from the branches. He’s certain that it’s the ground shaking now and the epicenter seems to be from Stiles or the Nemeton, or even both. It’s now extremely obvious that Stiles is losing his grip on everything Derek and starts running towards him. “You’re losing your mind over this!”

Stiles moves his arms again and Derek automatically braces for whatever magic is going to be used against him, but the human only clutches his head and pulls at his hair. Derek can smell Stiles’ desperation over the burning magic and then the magical blast comes. He’s nearly knocked back by the force of it but he wills himself to keep standing. 

Stiles turns to him now and he looks absolutely wrecked. His glowing veins make it almost impossible to look at him directly but Derek forces himself to and after blinking a few times, he can see just how much agony his boyfriend is in. Stiles’ hands move down to cover his eyes as if he had an extreme migraine and when he pulls his hands away, his face looks even worse. Derek does the only thing he can think of and reaches for him, but the damage has already been done. The light is fading from his cracked veins, but now all that is left is blackness. It’s heartstopping and horrifying yet Derek can’t pull his gaze away. 

“Stiles.” His voice cracks and his throat feels raw. 

And for a moment, for a beautiful moment, things almost calm down. Stiles looks at Derek and finally  _ sees _ him; there’s clarity in his eyes and he looks terrified. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and it’s so soft that Derek can barely hear it. 

“Please. I can’t lose you too.” His parents. Laura. Erica and Boyd. Stiles is supposed to be the one thing that Derek keeps safe.

The moment breaks and Stiles’ gaze hardens again. “But I can lose you.”

Stiles swipes his hand forward and Derek is forced backwards. The ground shakes again and this time, when the roots shoot up from the ground, they surround Derek. They cover him from all sides and twist until the only thing in sight is Stiles walking towards him. His beautiful boyfriend has the white wisps of magic flying haphazardly all around him. The blackened cracks have spread across his dotted skin and Derek can see the brightest spot is glowing through his clothes and it’s right where his heart is. It’s beating is off and irregular; it’s much slower than it should be but Stiles’ scent has no signs of pain. In fact, Stiles doesn’t even smell like Stiles anymore. He smells only of burning magic. 

Derek whines loudly and instinctually takes a step backwards, but his back is met with the wall of his wooden ball. “Don’t.” He whispers.

Stiles leans forward and peers inside. There’s no wickedness written on his face and Derek thinks it might be easier if there is. “You’ll stay in that cage until this is done.” He leans back. “And just in case you think of escaping…” Stiles pushes at the cage and sends it across the Preserve, far from the Nemeton.

It’s so…final. There’s no exchange of “I love yous”. There’s no shouts of regret or Stiles trying to stop his actions. One moment Derek sees him and then the next he’s hovering over the ravine in a cell of twisted trees. Derek feels numb and he can’t really wrap his mind around what just happened. Did Stiles really choose to do all of this or was it all the Nemeton’s fault? He still feels the pull towards the Nemeton, but now it feels stronger, as if Stiles’ magic amplified the pulse.

The trees creak as Derek shakily sits down and tries to understand just what happened. His first reaction is to sit there and wait to be rescued because Stiles always saves him, but then he remembers that this is all Stiles’ doing. He shakes his head and manages a small laugh because if anyone could survive this, it would be Stiles. Soon, the Pack would be alerted and he’d be found and freed with an extremely apologetic boyfriend. 

But it doesn’t happen that way. No, instead, Derek feels it the moment Stiles is gone. It’s as if his chest is clawed open to reveal his heart and then ice cold water is dumped on it. He gasps for air and clutches his chest. Then he howls. It starts in the bottom of his diaphragm and it rises into a high tenor note. It’s the slow pitiful sound that only a wolf can make when it’s loved one is gone. 

He’s not for sure when he’s rescued or how. All he knows is that he keeps howling for Stiles. More voices join in his mournful song and he wishes it could last forever, but it can’t. Eventually, he cries his voice hoarse and until no noise can escape. After that, he lays curled on the ground. The sun comes up and logistically he should feel warm, but he’s too numb to feel anything. 

Someone--he’s not for sure who, everything is a blur--asks him what happened. Derek thinks it’s obvious. Stiles is gone. What more can he say? He doubts there’s even a body, whatever was left of Stiles’ probably was burned from the inside out from his magic. He goes to say this, but at the last minute he stops. He feels the pull to the Nemeton stronger than ever now and he has to stop it. He  _ needs  _ to stop it before something else happens. So he asks for anything and everything that is needed to remove the damn stump. And gasoline. So much gasoline. He’ll burn the whole Preserve down just because of it. 

When it’s all said and done, it’s night again and the fire is beautiful. Derek watches as it dances across the ground as it jumps from tree to tree. He wishes Stiles could see this and he can almost imagine his human standing beside him holding his hand. It’s fitting, actually. The Nemeton takes beautiful things and ruins them but now, as it is being ruined, it looks beautiful. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry tbh. Also, if you didn't watch the video, here's the link again. Please watch it; it's absolutely beautiful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIEVXJ5RWgc&t=139s


End file.
